


Hold my heart too

by Cirkne



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2015-07-28
Packaged: 2018-04-11 19:10:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4448711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cirkne/pseuds/Cirkne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Keiji has never seen Tetsurou and Kenma fight before. He's never heard Kenma say "I hate you" with so much anger in their voice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold my heart too

**Author's Note:**

> "editing apartment" is an apartment Akaashi goes to before deadlines so he can work without distractions.
> 
> Kenma's (adoptive) parents are rich and provide for the four.
> 
> beta'd by Bishop who is cool for a parrot lover.

"Fine!" Kenma yells, loud, unlike themselves and they leave, slamming the door shut. For a moment, Tetsurou stands there, shaking with anger. Then, his shoulders fall and he runs after Kenma. He leaves the door ajar, his hurried steps echoing.

Keiji has never seen Tetsurou and Kenma fight before. He hasn't heard Kenma yell or even talk, not after high school anyway. And worst of all, he's never heard Kenma say "I hate you" with so much anger in their voice. He hopes, as he finishes washing the dishes he had busied himself with when the screaming started, that he never has to hear it again.

Keiji knows Kenma will come back. People always come back, even when you wish they didn't. At least that's what Keiji learned from his mother who, by now, sleeps in a different room from his father.

When Tetsurou doesn't come back ten minutes later, Keiji locks the door. Their apartment is never this quiet. His editing apartment is, he shouldn't feel that ache in his chest but Keiji is alone and he curls up on the couch, feeling small. 

He doesn't know how the fight started, only being able to hear muffled whispering in one of the bedrooms. Then, Kenma stormed out of the room, screaming, not even looking at Keiji. He rolls over on the couch, it's all so familiar.

Koutarou comes home before Kenma and Tetsurou do. He's all smiles and loud words. When he asks what happened, Keiji is too selfish to tell him. He lies that he has to go and wears Tetsurou's jacket instead of his own. It is too hot outside. Minutes later the jacket is sticking to his back. He calls a cab to take him to the apartment he uses for his job. It's quiet.

Keiji lays down on the floor and he cries because it's the only thing he can do. He cries until he no longer can, until his chest isn't heavy. He cries until he falls asleep, curled up on the floor.

***

He wakes up to his phone buzzing in his pocket. For a moment he's looking at it, trying to figure out why it's dark in the room. Then, he remembers and considers hanging up but knows that it's selfish. So, Keiji picks up.

"I'm by the apartment," Tetsurou says, hurriedly. "Come down, I'll take you home." Then, Tetsurou hangs up. Keiji doesn't want to go home. He doesn't want Tetsurou to call again either. So he stands up and tries to collect himself. His keys are laying next to him on the carpet.

Tetsurou is in his car, the engine working and the light on. He waits for Keiji to get in at put his seat belt on, then he smiles.

"You're wearing my jacket," he says as if it's a good thing, as if there's nothing else to talk about.

"Kenma..." Keiji starts.

"I apologized, they apologized, everything's good."

It's not, Keiji thinks because he wasn't going to ask about that. He wanted to know why Kenma said they hated Tetsurou and why Tetsurou's smiling like it doesn't matter. It does matter but Keiji turns to the window and hopes they're home soon.

"You're quiet," Tetsurou says and when Keiji turns to him, he can see Tetsurou looking straight ahead, his eyes tired. 

"I'm just sleepy," Keiji says even though he's completely awake by now. Tetsurou nods, Keiji turns back to the window. The streets are empty, Keiji feels empty too.

***

Tetsurou and Kenma have made up but it's tense, awkward, even Koutarou acts different. It feels like any moment there's going to be another fight and Keiji doesn't want to be there for that. He tries to spend most of his time working and then crashes on the couch. Keiji doesn't like it but Kenma sleeps with Koutarou now and Keiji doesn't want to sleep with Tetsurou. In the mornings he pretends he was so exhausted he doesn't remember how he got there.

Kenma doesn't talk which is how it's supposed to be but it feels like a different kind of silence now. Keiji thinks they avoid talking to Tetsurou too. 

Koutarou seems angry. He has a right to be, since Keiji left him but he doesn't have the strength to apologize. Not when it feels like they haven't stopped fighting.

On the fourth day Tetsurou has stopped trying to pretend. He doesn't get out of bed early to make breakfast, doesn't leave Keiji a cup of coffee on the counter. Instead, when they wake up, Tetsurou isn't there. None of them say anything. Keiji makes breakfast and sets three plates down. You would think Tetsurou was never a part of their life.

Kenma and Koutarou play video games on the TV. Keiji works. Or, tries to. All he's doing is watching the clock, waiting. Tetsurou doesn't come back for lunch, when Koutarou tries to call him, he doesn't answer. They eat in silence. When Koutarou has to go to work, Kenma retreats into one of the bedrooms. Keiji understands, he doesn't want to pretend either.

He calls Tetsurou just before six and gets an answer after five beeps.

"I'm outside," Tetsurou says. It sounds like he's going to add something else but Keiji only hears breathing.

"I'll be right there," he whispers, his voice hoarse. Then, he hangs up.

Keiji doesn't tell Kenma where he's going but it seems like everyone stopped doing that so it doesn't matter.

Tetsurou's waiting for him in the car again, his forehead against the steering wheel. Keiji doesn't know what to say, he waits.

"Why are you doing this?" Tetsurou asks, finally.

"Doing what?"

"Acting as if you're the hurt one, as if I was angry at you and not Kenma, as if we haven't made up."

"Have you?" Keiji asks, his voice too quiet. "Kenma said they hate you."

"So what do you care?" Tetsurou looks at him, finally, his eyes red. "It has nothing to do with you, Keiji."

"I was there," Keiji says, angry. "We live together, I will always be there, Tetsurou. Every fight in that apartment has something to do with me because it's my apartment too."

"It's Kenma's," Tetsurou says, bitterly. "Everything we think we own belongs to Kenma, we're nothing without them." He sighs, rests his head against the steering wheel again. "They think it's the only reason we're with them."

"It's not-"

"I know!" Tetsurou sighs again, closes his eyes. "Sometimes it's so tiring to listen to it, Keiji, and I feel so guilty but I wish I wasn't the only one Kenma would tell their insecurities to because there's only so many times I can assure Kenma we love them."

"Is that what the fight was about?" Keiji asks, already knowing the answer.

"They say they hate me every time we fight," Tetsurou tells him instead of answering. "Because that's the thing that hurts the most, it's what would hurt them the most." Tetsurou looks up at Keiji again, tears filling his eyes. "It's so hard not to believe it."

Keiji puts his hand on Tetsurou's and they sit there, Tetsurou crying and Keiji forcing himself not to because now is not the time. Tetsurou squeezes his hand so hard it hurts, Keiji's almost glad it does.

***

Keiji apologizes to Koutarou that night and it's the easiest thing he's done since he came home. Koutarou doesn't ask why he's crying, just kisses his tears away and holds him. All three of them talk to Kenma. Or rather, talk at Kenma. Tell them that even if Kenma's parents stopped paying for everything, even if they all went broke, Kenma would still be important to them. They cry. Tetsurou makes a joke about Koutarou being the only one who hasn't cried today and Koutarou tears up. The first tears of joy they've seen in awhile. That night, they all sleep on the living room floor. It's too hot and uncomfortable but Tetsurou holds his hand and suddenly it's ok. 

Keiji doesn't tell them why the fight got to him that much but when he will, he knows, they will make him feel like that's ok too.


End file.
